LET'S CHAT #2: THINGS I LEARNED FROM RELATIONSHIPS

Hand Models: Mum and Dad :)


THE HONEYMOON PERIOD

The honeymoon period is great, butterflies overload. When I was young, this imaginative period sent me on a whirlwind, I thought "YES I WILL MARRY THIS PERSON", and I've only known them for a couple of weeks. I didn't think about any practical elements, i.e., at that time I was way too young for marriage, I didn't have a stable job, I didn't know their true nature and I was still trying to figure myself out... I also had the rest of my life to live.


Reflecting back, I really let my emotions lead me by the nose. I think there needs to be a good balance of emotional and logical reasoning.



THE DIFFICULT TIMES

I've encountered differences and issues that were unable to be resolved with my partners, if neither of us is willing to apologise or if one person is carrying every blame on their shoulders. It's not gonna work.

I have learned that I really need to reflect on what happened, and evaluate on the things I did wrong rather than disregarding my errors and passing on the blame. It's always hard to admit you are wrong, but you gotta be collaborative in a relationship.


THE OBLIGATION

If you ever feel that you are obligated to be with someone, that you are too lazy or cannot be bothered to find someone else, even though you are not happy in your relationship. You better talk to your partner about it and work something out, it's not fair to string your hopeful partner to a dead end. This is coming from a relationship only perspective. I've never been married and don't have any children.


THE BREAK-UP
Breakups are emotionally draining. You need to cry and talk to your friends, but don't bombard them with your emotions, they can only take so much. Spread it around and speak to your family as well.

During a bad breakup, my tip is to cut all contacts with your ex and either put away or throw out their belonging/gifts if you are not coping. Let out your steam and bawl your eyes out with a hot shower. Personally, friends and music helped me through my breakups. My favourite song to listen to Your Ex Lover is Dead by Stars. Great song, powerful lyrics.


MY PARTNER IS NOT A MIND READER
This is probably the most important lesson I have learned, if you are not happy about something or if your partner did or is doing something you are uncomfortable with then you need to talk to them.

Giving them the silent treatment or just being mad at them won't actually resolve too much, half the time your partner will just think you are moody. They might buy you a gift or take you out to make you happy, but they probably won't have a clue why you were annoyed in the first place and continue doing whatever it is that made you angry in the first lace.  Don't ever think "THEY SHOULD KNOW WHAT THEY'VE DONE WRONG".

I think meeting random guys off the internet is dangerous, I fear that he may secretly be some flesh eating alienesque parasite, but you might think differently.

Open communication is the key.

TELL ME WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Comments

  1. I agree, communication is EVERYTHING in a relationship.. but I have honestly found, there has only ever been one man (my current partner) who actually listens when I try to communicate. I feel like at the start of every relationship, you do communicate but the way the other person reacts to your thoughts and feelings impacts on your future actions. You have to find someone who listens when you communicate and will communicate back. I look back now and realise how much the other person actually affected my ability to communicate my feelings.

    Also.. we met on instagram :P You definitely have to be cautious but magical things can happen in the most unexpected places! haha <3

    Tahana
    www.tahanalee.com

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  2. I learned to not settle for less. I'm quite soft hearted and kept giving the guy the benefit of the doubt. It's hard to let go and move on but you just have to. Sigh...something I'm currently dealing with but hey, time heals everything. :)
    ♥NY
    Yours Truly, NY


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  3. Yes, it's so important to talk things through, which is hard when your hubby is a man of few words (like mine), but its better in the long run to deal with stuff as it's happening instead of letting it build up. Great tips :0

    Di from Max The Unicorn

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  4. I love posts like this, makes me realise that I am not the only one out there who is will too compromise!

    www.cultivationofjasmin.blogspot.com

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  5. The last one is a biggy in any relationship, but it is definitely a habit that's hard to shake!

    M + K
     Bloglovin

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  6. Great tips! I think that open communication and mutual trust and respect are key to a happy and healthy relationship.

    ReplyDelete

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